Episode 531
with Gary Shteyngart, Atsuko Okatska, and The Lowest Pair
Host Luke Burbank and Elena Passarello discuss the kindest things our friends have done for us; author Gary Shteyngart takes us into the world of fictionalized friendship in his latest book Our Country Friends, which is lauded as the Great American Pandemic Novel; comedian Atsuko Okatska explains why getting married is more childlike than staying single; and indie folk duo The Lowest Pair perform "Mt Rainier" from their latest album Horse Camp.
Gary Shteyngart
Author
Gary Shteyngart is not afraid to get satirical when the situation calls for it. An American writer born in Leningrad, Shteyngart’s prose is filled with blistering humor and sharp societal observations powered by masterful storytelling. His work is acclaimed and awarded, best-selling and blurbed, read and translated into twenty-six languages. Shteyngart’s fifth book, Lake Success, described as “a stylish and big-hearted novel” by Publisher’s Weekly, takes on a character who abandons his life in the one percent to learn about the “real America.” We can’t wait to take his take to heart. Website • Twitter
Atsuko Okatska
Comedian
Atsuko Okatska is a Live Wire favorite! As a wickedly funny stand-up comedian, actor, and writer who was named one of Variety’s "10 Comics to Watch in 2022," we can't get enough of her live performances. She's also written for Adult Swim's The Eric Andre Show, Soft Focus with Jena Friedman, and has been featured on The Late Late Show with James Corden as well as Jimmy Kimmel Live. Her debut comedy special, produced by HBO, is taping this fall and is sure to bring the house down.
The Lowest Pair
Indie Folk Duo
The Lowest Pair is a perfect example that good things come in pairs. Dual banjoists Kendl Winter and Palmer T. Lee met on the banks of the Mississippi and have been touring the US ever since in their own version of The Never Ending Tour, racking up over 500 shows across the country from Bellingham, Washington to Bangor, Maine. The American folk duo combines Palmer’s Midwestern charm with Winter’s playfulness. Their newest album, Horse Camp, was released in October 2022.
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Luke Burbank Hey, Elena.
Elena Passarello Hey, Luke. How's it going?
Luke Burbank It's going really well. Are you ready for some Station Location Identification Examination?
Elena Passarello Lay it on me.
Luke Burbank This is the part of the show where I quiz Elena about a place in the country where Live Wire is on the radio. She's got to guess where I am talking about. Okay. This is the birthplace of the great Tin Pan Alley songwriter Hoagy Carmichael. It's also the birthplace of the musician and novelist and one time Live Wire guest, John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats.
Elena Passarello Well, Hoagy Carmichael wrote Georgia on My Mind.
Luke Burbank How about this? This city was the location for the 1979 Academy Award winning film Breaking Away.
Elena Passarello Bloomington, Indiana.
Luke Burbank That's right. 100%. I knew I knew you would get the breaking away reference. Of course. It's Bloomington, where we're on WFM2, in Bloomington, Indiana. When I saw that movie, I was young and I thought, well, that's it. I'm becoming an Italian cyclist.
Elena Passarello Yes. Yes. And "signorina" and then at the very end when everybody is hugging each other and Daniel Stern doesn't have anybody to hug. So he just punches himself in the arm.
Luke Burbank A classic. Well, we're going to try to turn in a classic episode of Live Wire this week. Are you ready to give it a shot?
Elena Passarello Let's do it.
Luke Burbank All right. Go for it.
Elena Passarello From PRX. It's...
Audience Live Wire!
Elena Passarello This week, writer Gary Shteyngart.
Gary Shteyngart I've written about people I've known before, and nobody ever guesses that they're that character because people have no self-knowledge, you know?
Elena Passarello And comedian Atsuko Okatska.
Atsuko Okatska Like, I really thought that I was going to start planting lettuce. And then my husband had to remind me that that's not my personality.
Elena Passarello With music from the Lowest Pair and our fabulous house band. I'm your announcer, Elena Passarello. And now the host of Live Wire: Luke Burbank!
Luke Burbank Hey, thank you so much, Elena Passarello and everyone else tuning in from all over the country, including Bloomington, Indiana. We have a great show in store for you this week. We asked the Live Wire listeners a question because we're talking about friendship on the show this week we asked, What's the kindest thing a friend has ever done for you? And we are going to hear those responses coming up in just a little bit. First, though, it's time for us to bring you the best news we heard all week. This is our a little reminder, really as much for us as the listeners at the top of the show that there is good news happening out there in the world. Elena, what is the best news that you heard this week?
Elena Passarello Sonic good news. This is something that I didn't know. But apparently more than 37 million American adults have hearing loss issues, but only 25% of that group uses hearing aids. And one of the reasons for that is the expense and the limitation, the lack of access to hearing aids. It's actually kind of insane, like you could only until very recently got hearing aids via a prescription from an audiologist. They also did the fitting and the testing, and there were only a few companies that made and regulated these hearing aids. So they would usually start cost wise at like $2,000. $2000!
Luke Burbank Wow. That's prohibitive.
Elena Passarello And they go all the way up to like eight grand and beyond. And Medicare and most private insurance didn't cover those hearing aids. So this is a huge boundary to a significant portion of the population that would probably live a much more comfortable life if they had access to hearing aids.
Luke Burbank Well, not to mention that there's actually a lot of research out now that when somebody has a hard time hearing what's going on in the room they're in or with the people that they're in conversation with. It actually then leads to a lot of other deleterious effects later in life because you become more isolated. And that is often an issue for a bunch of other things. It's not just about being able to hear someone in a loud room, but it can really be about quality of life in a whole bunch of ways.
Elena Passarello Amen. To say nothing about the stigma that's sort of attached to hearing loss and, well, I'm here to tell you the good news. Over-the-counter hearing aids are finally going to start being available. This is after a law that was passed five years ago. A federal law has finally taken effect.
Luke Burbank Meaning that now you can get hearing aids over-the-counter, which I'm presuming that also the idea is that over time, that will bring the cost down as well.
Elena Passarello Yeah, I mean, right now you're going to start being able to get a $199 hearing aid from Wal-Mart. $1,000 hearing aid from Best Buy. And about an $800 hearing aid from Walgreens. So all of those are significantly cheaper than anything you used to be able to get through the existing system. And then this is going to create a market that hopefully influences innovation and competition and also will create like tech support and user friendliness. Just like with cell phones right at the beginning, there will cost a bunch of money, or VCRs, and then everybody kind of learned how to make them manufacture them and then also how to maintain them. So it's a little bit of an uphill battle because people are now going to have to do the work that an audiologist used to have to do when they buy these over-the-counter hearing aids. But we're on our way to making a much more open ended, transparent, clear and accessible pathway for 37 million Americans to get the auditory care that they need.
Luke Burbank That is great news. I saw some positive news. That's, well, it's not exactly medical, but it's sort of medical adjacent. Okay. And it involves a firefighter in Baltimore by the name of Megan Warfield. Now, Megan Warfield was nine months pregnant and was riding in a car in Maryland when unfortunately, she was involved in this six car accident. That was actually pretty serious. In fact, one of the cars flipped completely over with the driver of that car trapped in the vehicle. And what Megan did, even though she had been on desk duty at the fire station because she was with child and they thought, let's, you know, not do anything dangerous in this moment, she decided to run over and basically climb into the car. And because there were no other medical, you know, personnel on the scene yet and take care of this woman who was in the vehicle that was overturned and she was apparently instrumental to the driver of the car that was overturned, being able to stay calm. They took that person to the hospital. They were okay. Everybody was okay from this accident eventually. But the last person to get medical attention was Megan Warfield, the nine month pregnant person.
Elena Passarello Did she have the baby?
Luke Burbank They took her to the hospital because she went into labor from doing this. And in fact, the stress and the physicality of of what sort of went on meant that her baby was traverse or sideways. The baby turned sideways. And so she went into labor. Luckily, the baby, Little Charlotte, was born perfectly healthy to Warfield and her boyfriend, Joshua. It's their third child and everybody is doing really well. But I mean, it's just an amazing story of selflessness and of I mean, and just the fact that the medics show up and this person who's nine months pregnant and has the baby now turned sideways in them is like, "please take care of everyone else before you get to me." Shout out to Megan Warfield. And also glad to hear that everybody involved in that is going to be okay. That is the best news that I heard all week.
Luke Burbank All right. Let's get our first guest here on Live Wire. He was born in Leningrad, but then he moved to Queens, New York, when he was seven. These days, he's the critically acclaimed and bestselling author of five books, including Super Sad True Love Story, Absurdistan, and the Russian Debutante's Handbook. His latest work, Our Country Friends, has been called the Great American Pandemic Novel. We were so excited to have him join us in front of a live audience in Portland last year. Take a listen to this. It's Gary Shteyngart talking to us at the Alberta Rose Theater here on Live Wire.
Gary Shteyngart Hello!
Luke Burbank Gary, welcome back.
Gary Shteyngart Thank you. So good to be here. I love you, Portland.
Luke Burbank This book is getting a lot of praise. And it is, like I said, Kirkus Reviews saying it's the great pandemic novel. When did you actually start writing it?
Gary Shteyngart I started writing it in March of 2020. Yeah, just as the pandemic was getting on. I was a few days in and I was like, either I learn how to bake bread, which I'm really bad at, can barely make coffee, or I write a pandemic novel.
Luke Burbank And so you set out I mean, you knew right away that you're going to set this in the current sort of moment of time.
Gary Shteyngart Yeah. I mean, growing up in a failed superpower, I can smell another failed superpower, by the way. And so, yeah, I was thinking, you know, we had a certain president at that point, plus the pandemic, everyone was dying. And I thought, yeah, this is sort of my, you know, my wheelhouse.
Luke Burbank The main character in this book is a writer who was born in Russia and has a house in the Hudson Valley of New York.
Gary Shteyngart Yeah.
Luke Burbank You're a writer who was born in Russia?
Gary Shteyngart Yeah.
Luke Burbank Who has a house in the Hudson Valley. I mean, that is a crazy coincidence.
Gary Shteyngart You know, write what you know is what my high school teacher taught me. I have no imagination whatsoever. You know I can't write Dune. I don't know, I don't know from sandworms. This is all I can do, folks.
Luke Burbank I want that to be a blurb on your next book, I Don't Know From Sandworms - Gary Shteyngart.
Gary Shteyngart That could be the title. "I Don't Know From Sandworms."
Luke Burbank But as I understand it, so this book is is a bunch of friends kind of get together during the pandemic at this country house and all kinds of stuff happens. And my understanding is you were kind of living in a version of this yourself, like you really had friends together staying with you or just visiting.
Gary Shteyngart I had a little pod of people. There's many writers who have fled from places like Brooklyn and now live full time in the Mid-Hudson Valley. In fact, I was at the DMV trying to get my license renewed and this woman came out and said, No, people from Brooklyn on this line. If you're from Brooklyn, go home. So there's a lot of anti-Brooklyn sentiment, which is great because I'm from Manhattan, so it's fine. But I do have some friends and we did form a pod. It was very sweet. I realize how much I loved my friends, you know, and we really got to know each other much better. And my kid had playmates and stuff like that. So I have to say, the pandemic wasn't that awful for me. I know it was a tragedy in many other parts of the world, including New York, which is just 100 miles to the south. But we did, we did okay.
Luke Burbank You're such a observant and funny writer. There's this kind of omniscient voice in this book that's kind of filling in the gaps of what people are really thinking. And it had me wondering if I was really your friend and I really would go hang out with you, and then I read this book if I would be devastated because, like, I know those thoughts. Everyone's having those thoughts all the time. I choose to just kind of black that out, right? You choose to emphasize it.
Gary Shteyngart It's so funny you say that. I've written about people I've known before and nobody ever guesses that they're that character because people have no self-knowledge, you know? To me, comedy is I think I'm a giraffe, but I'm five foot five and more like an aardvark. But I think I'm a giraffe, you know, like those Jack Russell terriers that think they're giant dogs, etc.. I once wrote a book called Absurdistan, which was about this 325 pound son of a Russian oligarch. And my friend at the time was the 325 pound son of a Russian oligarch. And one day in Manhattan, or was it London, one of those places oligarchs live. I see him chasing after me and I'm like, Oh my God, he's going to kill me. And then he catch something. He says, I just read Absurdistan, who's that idiot Misha in the book? And that's just how it is, you know?
Luke Burbank So your friends have not called you and said, Am I this character in Our Country Friends?
Gary Shteyngart No. But there's an actor. There's a very famous actor in the book. Super famous. So hot. Oh, my God. I was, like, attracted to him as I was writing him
Luke Burbank Yeah, you wrote him very beautifully. And the women in the book notice it as well.
Gary Shteyngart Notice it. And many of them act on it. Yes, he's a national treasure, so to speak. And during pandemic times, he has to help everyone out with their fantasies. This is a super hot book, folks. I'm not telling you to buy it. But what were we talking about? Oh.
Luke Burbank The actor. Yeah. And because this actor is is this character's kind of a lot and they're mostly not even named in the book like their real name. They're called the actor. Can you now for the first time online where say exactly who this person is?
Gary Shteyngart Oh, God, there's a lot of speculation. Just follow me on Twitter. There's a lot of speculation about it.
Luke Burbank You using this to pump your Twitter account?
Gary Shteyngart Absolutely. @Shteyngart, if you can spell it, you can access it even I don't know how to spell it. I have to do a spell check.
Luke Burbank You know, my phone now auto corrects to your the proper spelling of your name.
Gary Shteyngart That's- oh my god. So every time you try to write Schmuck, it says Shteyngart. Yeah.
Luke Burbank That's exactly right.
Gary Shteyngart It's great. I love it.
Luke Burbank Who do people think the actor is?
Gary Shteyngart Well, people guess. I've worked with various actors. James Franco was a student of mine. There's a great video of me making out with him for this cause. Who else was there?
Luke Burbank If that didn't drive the Twitter numbers, I don't know what will.
Gary Shteyngart Yeah, that really...Yes, that helped. Who else? Oh, Ben Stiller. I worked with Jake Gyllenhaal. So people are always guessing which one that is.
Luke Burbank Wow, you and Taylor Swift in the news this week regarding Jake
Elena Passarello Gyllenhaal.
Gary Shteyngart I know! Yeah. Somebody wrote it's the only interaction between Shteyngartians and Swift Voters or whatever it's called.
Luke Burbank Swifties! I think Swift Voters were the ones that took down John Kerry.
Gary Shteyngart Oh god, sorry, I'm so political.
Luke Burbank This seems like a good time to break
Luke Burbank This is Live Wire. We're talking to Gary Shteyngart. His new book is Our Country Friends. We'll be back with more in just a moment.
Luke Burbank Welcome back to Live Wire from PRX. We're coming to you from the Alberta Rose Theater in Portland, Oregon. I'm Luke Burbank here with Elena Passarello. We're talking to Gary Shteyngart about his new book, Our Country Friends. I have family that lived in Russia. And I know, like dacha culture is a really big thing. But for people that are unfamiliar, can you kind of explain how that works and why that's sort of something you brought over to the States with you?
Gary Shteyngart Yeah, and thank you for pronouncing dacha correctly. Many people I know call it "dachau" and they're like, That's a whole different thing and that's a different kind of camp. But yes, a dacha. Sorry about that. A dacha traditionally in Russia is a small country house. It could be big, but most people when I was growing up in Leningrad or in Moscow, you had a little really just a tiny A-frame, usually with a tiny plot for potatoes and dill and during tougher times, which in Russia is most times you often rely on that as a food source when there's no food anywhere else. So we had when I was growing up in America, I didn't speak English real good, but we had, and kids always bullied me for being a Soviet kid. Also, I wore a giant furry hat all the time, which now is super hip. But I didn't know it then, and so I didn't speak English. But in upstate, in Ellenville, in another part of upstate, we had a little bungalow colony just for Russian kids. And that was so sweet because we didn't make fun of each other. We all had the same accent and little dachas, little summer homes. And so all my life I wanted to spend most of my life I wanted to move back upstate full time. That was my dream. And I'm almost there. I'm there about 60% of the time. But one day I'll leave New York, which, you know, is just a collection of Walgreen's at this point. And. Yeah, and chase banks, there's really nothing going on. You know.
Luke Burbank In the book, the main sort of characters who own the country house, they met at a kind of summer camp, the type you're describing.
Gary Shteyngart Yeah, well actually, a lot of the characters, yeah, two did. So the owners of it. Yes, you're right. I'm sorry. Sasha and Masha are the two Russians and their kid is Natasha. The Russians have no imagination. So Sasha, Masha and Natasha live in this house. It's just so much fun to say. I know. It's. Yeah, that's. It's all a joke. There's even a character called Decameron, like the Decameron. And then there's the three friends in the book went to the same kind of math and science nerd school that I did, Stuyvesant High School in Manhattan. And so, yes, this book really is about friendship. I usually write about people with horrifying immigrant parents, but this time the children are in their forties already, and they've already internalized the horror of their parents. So now they can be awful to one another instead of relying on their parents to provide all the fun.
Luke Burbank Right, it's because, like Masha is sort of the outlier and that she actually had good parents and she's like, I basically, I refuse to apologize for having had decent parents.
Gary Shteyngart That's her shtick throughout the whole novel. She's like, I'm sorry, I had good parents and I'm a decent person, you know, and screw all of you. And she's also a psychiatrist, which I think is like the highest form of good. I have like seven of them. With a social worker pitching it every once in a while.
Luke Burbank You're listening to Live Wire from PRX. We're talking to Gary Shteyngart. His new book is Our Country Friends. This is not going to work for radio, but I'm very interested in the font that was chosen for the cover of the book. Is this papyrus?
Gary Shteyngart It is.
Luke Burbank What's going on here?
Gary Shteyngart I don't know.
Luke Burbank You don't get to choose this?
Gary Shteyngart I don't I don't choose fonts. I don't know. All I know is calibri or something.
Luke Burbank It's an interesting look to the book. It feels a little nostalgic to me, like in a good way. It kind of takes me back maybe to a sort of eighties sort of vibe.
Gary Shteyngart Yeah, I think you're right. It's designed to evoke nostalgia. There's a there's a wine glass in there with the wine less than half full, which I guess alludes to the mortality we're all facing. But there is a kind of nostalgia.
Luke Burbank It's very funny book I want to mention, as well.
Gary Shteyngart Oh yeah, sorry. And did I mention the hotness of the actor? But going back to nostalgia when I was writing this book, I felt very nostalgic because was the pandemic. I was upstate, mostly by myself. I was walking up and down this country road and I started calling my friends who have been scattered all over the globe Berlin, Los Angeles, all these different cities. And we started talking about we start remembering things that we had all forgotten, like how when we were kids, we used to lie at home with our princess phones or whatnot, and we would watch The Simpsons and then we talk on a like a party line about everything that was happening on The Simpsons. Oh, that's so funny. Moe did this, you know, it was such an innocent time, and all of that kind of stuff made it into the book. That sense of, Oh, life was better 40 years ago. You know.
Luke Burbank There's not, there's really no elegant way to make this pivot. Garry.
Gary Shteyngart I know what's coming. I know it's coming.
Luke Burbank You wrote an incredibly vivid essay in The New Yorker.
Gary Shteyngart Oh, boy.
Luke Burbank About your circumcision that happened when you were older than most people are for having a circumcision.
Gary Shteyngart Yeah I think in Judaism eight days is the prescribed snip snip date.
Luke Burbank And yours was when?
Gary Shteyngart Seven years old. Yeah. So I know. Yeah. Thank you, America. Good job. Country. Yeah. As soon as I came here, my parents fell under the influence of some Chabadniks followers of Lubavitcher Rebbe. They came in to our house and they said, Hey, let's circumcise your kid. It'll be fun, you know? Yeah. Welcome to America. And the circumcision went, well, it's a New Yorker piece that you could read, but it went very badly. And then about four decades afterwards, the pain last year, the pain came back because of some thing that happened that I don't want to describe on radio.
Luke Burbank But it's an unforgettable piece of writing.
Gary Shteyngart It's unforgettable. Yeah. I mean, it's it started a kind of movement about circumcision, like the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine just invited me to present my penis to them, which is
Luke Burbank Oh, wow. Wow.
Gary Shteyngart Hugely exciting. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we're going to get the best, you know. Stuff like that's happening. Rabbis are writing in saying maybe we're not going to prescribe this anymore. Doctors. So it's been a it's been it's it's an article that made a little bit of change.
Luke Burbank Were you did you have that as a sort of even faint hope when you wrote the piece?
Gary Shteyngart I was thinking that so as I was researching the piece, I talked to a lot of friends of mine and I thought, am I the only person, you know, with a, you know, "America broke my penis, but it won't break my spirit" kind of attitude.
Luke Burbank That's the name of my forthcoming memoir.
Gary Shteyngart That should be.
Elena Passarello We already got the font picked out.
Gary Shteyngart Yeah, yeah use that font.
Luke Burbank Yeah, we're going with Comic Sans.
Gary Shteyngart Yeah. Genital sans, or sans genital.
Luke Burbank All right, show's over. That was great. Thank you.
Luke Burbank Thank you. We're not. We're not, we're not going to beat that. We just have to end the show now.
Gary Shteyngart Mic drop. Yeah, yeah.
Luke Burbank But in some seriousness, it is obviously such a personal topic. And you wrote about it in this very, very open, honest way. Were you nervous about that or how was going to be received?
Gary Shteyngart Look, I mean, I think a lot of the men I talked to who I've discovered tons of men with botched circumcisions, and I think a lot of them don't want to talk about it because many are younger, still hoping one day to start a family, although many have failed in relationships, in part at least because of what has happened to them. I am much older, I have a family, everyone's nice, you know, and I'm fine with people knowing about my issues. But I know that a lot of men aren't. In just researching it with my group of maybe 20 friends, I discovered four men who have had stuff happen to them. So this is this is a this is one of the most unspoken about issues out there.
Luke Burbank I heard you in interview saying that that while you were enduring this really bad pain, writing this book, Our Country Friends was kind of the one break from the pain.
Gary Shteyngart It was the only break from the pain. And also, at this point, I don't want to give away too much to people who read it, but a character in this book undergoes terrible pain, and I slotted that in before my own pain started, but when my pain started, I was like, Oh, I know exactly what it's like. And also he goes through all these hallucinations and the drugs I prescribed. I was hallucinating half the day and there were maybe 3 hours in the day when I felt sane enough to write, and during those hours I would just access all the things that had just happened to me. So from a writer's perspective, it was amazing. It was like perfect material. I was suicidal, but other than that, lehayim, you know.
Luke Burbank Well, we're glad to hear that that you're feeling a little bit better because it sounds like it was extremely, extremely painful. We are talking to Gary Shteyngart here on Live Wire as part of the Portland Book Festival this week. Gary, you have been on the program before. And so I think, you know that when we have someone on the show, we like to try to really get to know them at their sort of deepest, the most core part of them. I feel like the conversation about your circumcision really took us there.
Gary Shteyngart I think so.
Luke Burbank But we may be able to to go even deeper into your mind with an exercise that we call the Jar of Truth. The kind of the sort of centerpiece of this book is friendship. Yeah, it's obviously called Our Country Friends and it's topic that you've written about various places. And so we have these questions in the Jar of Truth that are about friendship. So here's what's going to happen. We're going to have you select a random question. Elena Passarello will read the question to you about friendship, and we would like to get your honest answer.
Elena Passarello Okay. Is it possible, Gary, to refer to multiple people as your best friend?
Gary Shteyngart Oh, yes. Ha. I do that all the time. It's ridiculous. You know, like, I'll meet somebody and they'll be talking with adoration about someone else. Oh, God. You know, the music of David Byrne. And I say, that's so funny. He's one of my best friends, really. I met him once at a gallery and he nodded to me as he does, you know. So I thought, this is my best friend now. I do it all the time.
Luke Burbank Yeah, well, I could see how people would think they were your best friend, because you are known to be great at writing blurbs for people's books and writing a lot of them.
Gary Shteyngart Yes. A documentary has been made about by blurbing. Yeah, it's on YouTube. Yeah, it's called Gary's Promiscuous Blurbing or something. Yeah. I've blurbed everyone, you know, I blurbed Molly Ringwald. I mean.
Luke Burbank Yeah. One of your best friends.
Gary Shteyngart One of my best friends. I met her at a party.
Luke Burbank All right, one more question from the Jar of Truth.
Gary Shteyngart Okay
Elena Passarello Okay, Gary, when your friend tells you sensitive information and asks you not to tell anyone. Oh, such a good question. Can you still tell your partner?
Gary Shteyngart I don't tell my partner. I do tweet about it, though. No, because that's different. I think when people ask you not to tell, you don't tell your partner, you tell your friends. But there's nothing about telling Twitter. So @Shteyngart for all the latest information on all of my friends who apparently are very famous.
Luke Burbank Occasional author and full time Twitter self-promoter Gary Shteyngart, right here on Live Wire.
Gary Shteyngart Thank you! Thank you!
Luke Burbank That was Gary Shteyngart right here on Live Wire. His latest book, Our Country Friends, is available now. And a little update since we last spoke with Gary for that interview you just heard. He is part of the writing team of the HBO Limited series The Palace, starring Kate Winslet.
Luke Burbank Live Wire is brought to you in part by Alaska Airlines. Alaska Airlines offers the most nonstops from the West Coast, including destinations like Hawaii, Palm Springs and San Francisco, and as a member of the OneWorld alliance. Alaska Airlines can connect you to more than 1000 destinations worldwide with their global partners. Learn more at alaskaair.com.
Luke Burbank This is Live Wire as we like to do each week. We've asked the listeners a question because we are talking about friendship this week. We asked the listeners What is the kindest thing a friend has ever done for you? Elena has been collecting up those responses. What are you seeing?
Elena Passarello Here's one from Justin. A friend once sent Justin same day cupcake delivery when he got COVID.
Luke Burbank That is really thoughtful.
Elena Passarello I don't think I can get same day cupcake delivery here in Corvallis, but if I did.
Luke Burbank You're putting it out there.
Elena Passarello Yeah. Yeah. What's. Yeah, why? Come on, Corvallis, show up.
Luke Burbank You're letting me know that if next time you're feeling a little under the weather, if it's possible down there, you would accept same day cupcake delivery.
Elena Passarello Yeah, yeah, I'd even accept same day day old cupcake delivery.
Luke Burbank It's not even the condition of the cupcakes. It's that they get to you rapidly, that you're really interested in.
Elena Passarello Their little bombs of joy, those cupcakes.
Luke Burbank And also, here's a thing I've been thinking about, speaking of the pandemic, which is I don't want to gross anyone out, but what an odd tradition it is that we really want people to blow out the candles on a birthday cake that we are all about to eat. If you think about the implications of, let's just say, droplets, and that we even get mad at the person if they don't get the final candle out. Like, I mean, that just seems like kind of a vector.
Elena Passarello What are we going to do, do you think?
Luke Burbank Cupcakes. Candle. You get a candle in your cupcake, you blow it out, you eat your cupcake. I mean, it's just. It's the only hygienic approach, in my opinion.
Elena Passarello But what if you're turning, like, I don't know, 45 like I do I get 45 candles in my cupcake.
Luke Burbank You get 45 cupcakes to do with which whatever you care to Elena on your birthday, what's another nice thing that someone had done for them?
Elena Passarello Check this one out from Drew. Drew says A friend once covered my bail money as well as her own when we were both arrested in college for underage drinking. She bailed herself out and then learned my friends didn't bail me out. And so she got some more money to bail me out. And then that friend turned out to become my wife.
Luke Burbank Oh, my gosh. Leave no Drew behind, I believe.
Elena Passarello Yeah. And then, you know, that's how you know that she's a keeper, if she bails you out of jail.
Luke Burbank Absolutely that may, yeah, that's how, you know, someone might have a crush on you, too, if. If they bail you, if, like, they come back to bail you out of jail, you know that you may have a romantic future with that person.
Elena Passarello I think that also it would make a really good country song. Drew, I don't know if if Drew is in the country songwriting market, but I would totally listen to the Ballad of Drew and Charlene bailing each other out of jail and then getting married.
Luke Burbank That's a heck of a meet cute, too. Yeah. You know, when people ask, how did you meet? Well, we were both doing time down in the hoosegow, and she managed to get sprung first, and then she got me out.
Elena Passarello We met in the slammer.
Luke Burbank Yeah. All right. One more nice thing that somebody did for one of our listeners.
Elena Passarello How about this one from Lori? Lori says, I had some minor surgery, and my ex was waiting for me with ice packs, several types of soup and juice, freshly laundered sweats and a big fluffy blanket. He stayed for two days and waited on me hand and foot. I have just one question for Laurie, though. This sounds amazing. Amazing. Multiple kinds of soup. Come on. Was this person your ex when they did this?
Luke Burbank You know this as a writer? Elena. It's the beginning of a really interesting story. If the person was the ex at the time.
Elena Passarello I hope it is. I hope that it's like the best ex partner ever.
Luke Burbank I'll tell you this. I have recently started bragging that I am one of America's leading ex-husbands. Actual husband, not great. Ex-husband, absolutely knocking it out of the park. I'm on great terms with the two people who I used to be married to. So this could happen.
Elena Passarello I pride myself on being the ex-girlfriend that gets invited to the weddings of my former partners. I think I think we're at like five.
Luke Burbank Wow. That's got to be some kind of record.
Elena Passarello Like, how do you know the bride and groom? It's like, well, I. I know one of them real well.
Luke Burbank That seems like a good place to wrap this up. Thank you to everyone who sent in their responses to our listener question. We've got one for next week's show that we're going to reveal at the end of today's program. So do stick around for that. In the meantime, our next guest is a standup comedian who's appeared on The Late Late Show with James Corden. She's actually all over TikTok these days, starring in these, like, really funny viral dance trends, which means that Variety magazine was absolutely correct when they named her one of the top ten comics to watch in 2022. Also importantly, the last time that she was on Live Wire, she told a story of making tongue contact with a stranger's dog. And I really actually almost hurt myself laughing. So just a warning. She is dangerously funny. Take a listen to our friend Atsuko Okatska performing in front of a live audience at the Alberta Rose Theater back in 2021.
Atsuko Okatska Oh, hi. What's up, Portland? It is good to see you again. Good to see you again. Good to see you. You know, people think I'm mature because I'm married. Yeah. But I would argue that getting married is the childlike thing to do. Yeah. Yeah, because married people. What do we say? They say things like, I found my best friend. You know, that's very childlike. It's everything we own, split it in half. That way it's half and half. Yeah. We get to do everything together all the time. That's married people. It's very childlike. It's very childlike. Yeah. Meanwhile, if you're single and having to date around, that's very adult. It's very adult. Yeah. Because when you're single and having to date around, you have to do things like get to places on time. Okay? Yeah, you have to be interesting. Yeah, you have to seem emotionally stable. Especially when you're on a first date with someone, right. The stakes are high. Do you want to be alone forever? No. Okay. So if any of you are single and having to date around, I commend you. I commend. You are way more adult than the married couple. Yeah, cause back to the married couple, we're still saying. Saying things like we're going to be together forever and ever! Till death do us part. How do we know? Because these rings said so. It's very childlike. It's very childlike. I am a child. Yeah. There comes a point in a marriage when, you know, you become each other's family. You know you do. You become each other's families. Inevitable, you know? But you're still sleeping with each other, you know? Yeah. That is, if you can get over that mindfudge. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Because people are always like, yeah, me and my husband, we don't sleep with each other anymore, you know? And it's like, well, maybe it's because he calls you Mom. I would stop, too. I would stop too. It's hard. It's hard. You know that line? It's so hard because my husband, when he gets groceries, we do this thing where he brings back a surprise treat that's not on the grocery list. And it's what I look forward to every week. Yeah, and it's very sweet and very cute, but that is also how our relationship turned into a father daughter one. It's hard. It's hard. Romantic partners turn family, you know? Yeah. Still sleeping with each other. Yeah. And I like synchronized, choreographed dances with other people because I was a cheerleader in high school, and that part of me just never left, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Like, I hate it when people do their own dances on the dance floor. No, I think we should always, always be synchronized. Always synchronized. Yeah, it's more beautiful that way, right? Just everyone telling the same story, you know? Yeah. Always, always. Yeah. Yeah. And so I got to a point where I started teaching my husband these choreographed dance moves so we could shoot and put it online, you know? Yeah. And I would make him match with me, wear the same clothes, same hair, everything, you know. And at one point, my husband broke down and cried. Yeah. Because I was being a terror, you know? Yeah, he was crying. He said, I hate doing these dances with you. I don't want to do this with you anymore because you always want to make us look like we're sisters. And he's right. He's right, he's right. It's messed up. So I stop making him do it. Yeah, it's right. He's right. Because he's not my sister. No, he's my father. You all are sick. It's on you. It's a tango. You know it takes two. It's great to be here, though. It really is. It's great to be performing again, you know, because during the pandemic, I really almost lost myself. You know, I really almost did like I really thought that I was going to start planting lettuce. And then my husband had to remind me that that's not my personality. Yeah, he stopped me. He was like, stop, stop that. Someone else's interest. And I was like, Oh, my God, it is. This is not my interest, you know? Yeah, but I already had the lettuce ready, so I dropped it, you know, he was like, Stop. What do you think you're doing? I was like, You're right. I'm not a farmer. It was beautiful. It was beautiful. He saved me a lot of time. Yeah, possibly years, right? From living out someone else's identity. Yeah, it was beautiful. And you might be like, well, Atsuko, what are your interests? You know, if it's not farming, you know? What are your interests? And it's like I don't think I particularly have any, but like that's also a personality too. You know, it is. It is. And that should be empowering. Yeah, that should be. Yeah. If you're like. I also don't have hobbies or interests. That's okay. That's okay. You're still a whole person. Yeah, because what? We're all going to make sourdough. Oh, we're all going to make sourdough. We can't all be bakers. No. Someone's got to be the buyer. And I'm just saying that's me, you know? Yeah. All right, Portland. I'm going to get real real. Okay. And I'll skedaddle. Okay, so this is what I'm really going through. This is what I'm really going through. Okay. The other day, I was looking through old family photos when I was hit with the stark realization that my father and I have the same body. It was a long night, very lonely night, you know, just flipping through. Oh, my God. In his twenties and thirties, me and him. Same body. Same body. Yeah. And my husband, he's so sweet. He always tells me, God, you have such a hot bod, you know? And then he always asks, How do you get such a hot bod? And now I know. Now I know. Yeah, but I don't think I have it in me to tell him yet, you know. Yeah, I figure he'll find out sooner or later, you know, when the pandemic's really over and we go to Bali to visit my father, where he lives, and we go to the beach and we're all in our bathing suits. And at some point my father and I will stand right next to each other, overlooking the ocean, you know, with our hot bods. And my husband will look over at us and he'll be like, Wait. And I'll be like, it's weird for me too. It's weird for me too. And it is weird for me. Portland. It is for me to find this out after all these years. Okay. To know that all this time my dad too, would have looked good in a belly button ring. Oh, those wasted moments where we could have been wearing matching crop tops, showing off our sleek waistline that we apparently share. Okay. It's messed up. I don't like it. It's messed up. But I should have known. I should have known because one time my dad did get cold. So I let him borrow my jacket. And that's when I was like, Oh, my God. He also looked good in Free People. I should have known. I should have known. But I like to look at the brighter side of things. You know, knowing this not so great. Yeah. But I was like, well, now my dad and I could swap clothes, right? I could wear his hand-me-downs. And this next part is where it gets dicey, but only because I'm unsure of the punchline. So if you guys can stay with me, will you stay with me? Okay. You'll stay with me. Okay? Okay. Okay. I'll go back a little. Okay. But I like to look at the brighter side of things. You know, I was like, well, now my dad and I could swap clothes. I could wear his hand-me-downs. And it's not every day that people can say that they inherited their dad's literal jeans? Yes. No. Hey. You said you would stay with me. I said, stay with me. I said I was unsure. Because I asked you this. I'll ask you this. What makes a joke a dad joke? You guys ask me. Okay. What makes a joke a dad joke, anyway?
Audience What makes a joke a dad joke anyway?
Atsuko Okatska Oh, I guess it's when it becomes a parent.
Luke Burbank That was Atsuko Okatska right here on Live Wire Wire. Since last being on the show, Atsuko has announced that her first comedy special will be streaming on HBO later this year. I'm Luke Burbank, here with Elena Passarello on Live Wire from PRX. We've got to take a quick break, but don't go anywhere because we will be right back.
Luke Burbank Welcome back to Live Wire. I'm Luke Burbank, here with Elena Passarello. Before we get to this week's musical guest, a little preview of what is coming up on next week's show. First up, we are going to be talking to the extremely hilarious Ginny Hogan about her new book, I'm More Dateable than a Plate of Refried Beans, which details the ups and downs of modern romance. Forbes named her a rising star of satire. Then we're going to talk to Oregon's poet laureate, Anis Mojgani, about his love of poetry. And then we are going to hear some music from the one, the only, Jimmy Herrod. And as always, we going to be looking to get your answer to our listener question. Elena, what are we asking the listeners for next week's show?
Elena Passarello We want to know what is your biggest dating red flag. Holding a fish in their dating profile.
Luke Burbank That I've heard is the is the particularly here in the Pacific Northwest is really the default setting for a lot of people looking to you know find online romance is like somebody holding a fish for some reason. Okay. If if you have got an answer to that question for us, what is your biggest dating red flag, you can find us on Twitter and Facebook at Live Wire Radio and send in your response. Okay. Our musical guest this week met on the banks of the Mississippi and they've been touring the U.S. ever since, racking up over 500 shows all across the country from Bellingham, Washington to Bangor, Maine. They've also released five albums of original work, including 2020's a Perfect Plan, which No Depression Magazine called a perfect album for this moment. Take a listen to the Lowest Pair recorded last year at the Alberta Rose Theater in Portland. Hey. Hey there. Kendl and Palmer, welcome back to the program.
Kendl Winter Howdy.
Luke Burbank We've missed you. Kendl sounds like you've been staying busy, though. You went to the South Pole to work at a research station, but also you ran a marathon at the South Pole.
Kendl Winter Yeah, I did. Yeah. I like, run a lot anyway. And I was there and there was a marathon and I thought, well, here's my one chance to run a marathon in Antarctica.
Luke Burbank I don't want to tell you how to tell your story, Kendl, but I feel like you're leaving out some pretty important details. It was -36 degrees and you set a new record time.
Kendl Winter For women, yeah. Yeah.
Luke Burbank That's incredible.
Kendl Winter I haven't really figured out how to talk about it yet. Apparently it's also 10,000 feet elevation. So it's uh,
Luke Burbank They got to make that place so inhospitable.
Kendl Winter And make it really challenging to live there. Yeah.
Luke Burbank Palmer, what have you been doing since we last saw you?
Palmer T. Lee Started rewatching Game of Thrones.
Luke Burbank That is the more relatable way to spend a pandemic. Well, what song are we going to hear?
Kendl Winter We're going to do a new song. It's called Mt. Rainier.
Luke Burbank Okay. This is the Lowest Pair on Live Wire.
Kendl and Palmer (singing) There's a mountain hovering over. There's a moutain hovering. There's a mountain hovering over. Can't see it, but I know she's here. Blue blue is the truest color. Blue blue is the clearest sky. Up above those silver scoundrels. Blue blue is by and by. Blue blue is by and by. Take a breath go to the country? Take a breath go to the shore. I've been sitting on the Cowlitz River. Don't know what I'm waiting for. Had a thought but couldn't catch it. Had a love about the same. I had a dream, but it's been changing. Maybe it'll come around again. Cast iron for the beet and tempeh. Cast iron for the collard greens. August, and a box of rosé. Crist is busting at the seams. Blue blue is truest color. Blue, blue is the clearest sky. Up above those silver scoundrels. Blue blue is by and by. Blue blue is by and by. There's a mountain hovering over. There's a mountain hovering. There's a mountain hovering over. Can't see it but I know she's here. There's a mountain hovering over. There's a mountain hovering in. There's a mountain hovering over. Can't see it but I know she's here.
Luke Burbank That was the Lowest Pair here on Live Wire recorded last year at the Alberta Rose Theater. They have released another album since then Horse Camp, and it is out as of last week. So take a listen to that. That's going to do it for this week's episode of Live Wire. A huge thanks to our guests Gary Shteyngart, Atsuko Okatska and the Lowest Pair. Live Wire is brought to you in part by Alaska Airlines.
Elena Passarello Laura Hadden is our executive producer. Heather de Michele is our executive director. Our producer and editor is Melanie Sevcenko. Our assistant editor is Tré Hester. Our marketing manager is Paige Thomas and our production fellow is Tanvi Kumar. Our house band is Ethan Fox Tucker, Sam Tucker, Ayel alves and A. Walker Spring, who also composes our music. Molly Pettit is our technical director and mixer and our house sound is by D. Neil Blake.
Luke Burbank Additional funding provided by the Marie Lamfrom Charitable Foundation. Live Wire was created by Robin Tenenbaum and Kate Sokoloff. This week we'd like to thank members Eileen Hadden of Andersen Island, Washington and Katherine Butler of Portland, Oregon. For more information about our show or how you can listen to our podcast, head on over to livewireradio.org. I'm Luke Burbank for Elena Passarello and the whole Live Wire crew. Thanks for listening and we will see you next week.
PRX.
