First impressions. | Live Wire Radio

COURTENAY: So here we are at opening night Portland Opera's Cosi Fan Tutte. It's my first opera, and I'm as giddy as a really, really fucking old schoolgirl.

We just got back from the backstage tour, and speaking as a chick, it's going to be a GOOD night. We got a chance to see the GIANT SILVER BOX covered in a white tromp l'oeil pattern that the entire show will take place in. Even the floors are shiny metal, which I imagine will pose an issue for the women in the show, as they prance around in their stunning 50's dresses and pumps (yet another bonus.)

"My eyes are up here, Pavarotti." 

John Breen, on the other hand, my co-blogger, apparently knows something about the arts.


JOHN: I'm bummed, can I use as infantile a term as bummed when refering to opera?, that the backstage tour didn't include a my own personal lap-sing with one of the lead sopranos. Oh, sorry, maybe you don't know as much about opera singing performance shows as I do. The soprano is the hottest singer. And the highest in pitch. Yeah, I pretty much know a lot about culture and art and the arts.


The set is stunning. But not as stunning as when Mz Hameister was in it. What, what!

COURT:  John is totes playing me. Interesting, because that fits into the theme of tonight's show, which is about....oh, crap. What's it about?

JOHN:  It's about two men professing the loyalty of their fiance's to their best buddy, who insists they're wrong, in that all women are fickle. He claims if they turned their back for one moment, their woman would easily fall for someone else.

COURT: Hello pot? It's the kettle. You're black.

JOHN: Wait - there's more. Their buddy Don Alonzo launches a plot to trick the women into being seduced by other men. The men switch partners...

COURT: Like a 1790 key party?

JOHN: Let me finish. Jesus. Women.  And all hell breaks loose when one of them succeeds and the other doesn't..

COURT: Hello!! Spoiler Alert!! That's more of the story than I wanted to know.

JOHN:  Court, that lady totally just took some of your nuts from the blogger's table.

COURT:  Hey, lady!  Those are BLOGGER NUTS!!!  Thanks for distracting me from the spoilers. I've forgotten them now.

JOHN: You're welcome. Hey - what the EFF? Over half of my pretzels are gone. Why do people think they can just walk by our blogger table, where us bloggers are blogging and grab our blogger snackies? Oh, the cultured.

COURT: I've had just about enough of them. Good thing we won't have to sit three a three hour show with them.

JOHN: No, three hours and twenty minutes.

COURT: I can handle it. I once sat through a two-season "Rock of Love" Marathon. Ooooh! Speaking of love, the opera's about to start. We better go.

JOHN: Cool. But before we go, I need to say that apparently, there's some kind of code that says you can wear any kind of hat to the opera that you want - including Zorro Hats, and Sherlock Holmes hats...but the kind from Banana Republic.

COURT: Excellent information. We'll have more after the first act, people.