Dear Live Wire: If Unicorns Were Real, Would They Make Good Pets? | Live Wire Radio

Do YOU have a super important question for Live Wire? Email info@livewireradio.org or ask us on Facebook or Twitter. Extra points if you use the hashtag #DearLiveWire.

Gerrish writes:
If unicorns were real, would they make good pets?
Unicorns are real. They simply appear to the unaided eye as horses with horns on their heads.

Jean writes:
What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Unfortunately, there is no such thing as an unladen swallow. All swallows are laden in one way or another. By regret, by promises made but not kept, by bird lice. It is the maudlin truth of our age that we may never know the true air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow.

Linda writes:
At what point in history or prehistory did long hair become a necessary trait of the feminine archetype?
That’s an interesting question Linda, but deceptively phrased. The fact of the matter is that there is no one “feminine” archetype, nor has there ever been historically. Putting aside the fact that the myth of locational mono-culture is a function historical reductionism, ideas about beauty and femininity shift wildly from place to place and era to era. A traditional Zulu maiden would no more consider long hair feminine than a moustache, nor would any of her ancestors for a thousand generations backward. Conversely, your average Spartan hoplite, the figurehead of the most masculine (or at the very least, male worshiping) society that Western civilization has given us, was known for combing each other’s long, meticulously maintained hair before battle.

Your question might be better phrased “Why have popular Anglo-American fashions tended to favor, on balance, longer hair for women than men in the past few centuries?” although that seems like a silly thing to ask a radio program.

Dan writes:
You’re standing at the bank of a river, accompanied by a baby, a fox, and a bushel of corn. You have just shot your companion, who tried making a joke about brain teasers. How do you and everything with you get across the river intact before the police arrive and start asking uncomfortable questions?
Using the corn as an incentive, teach the fox to build a raft out of the piano the baby is playing.

Brian writes:
What IS the meaning of Life, the Universe and Everything?
Otters holding hands.

Stephanie writes:
Can you watch our kids next weekend?
Woah Stephanie, woah. This is all going way too fast. First it was just good times and convertible rides and Laser Floyd, now everything’s all “watch my kids” and “I have a husband” or whatever. Let’s just slow things down a little, yeah?

Scott writes:
What color is your light saber?
Contrary to popular belief we are not Jedi. Rather, the show is written and produced entirely by scruffy-looking nerf-herders.

Michael writes:
JUST HOW BIG IS YOUR—audience?
It’s not the size of the audience, it’s how you use it.