Jason Rouse's blog | Live Wire Radio

1. Knifed in the gut while visiting young people

2. Accidentally drown while horsing around on a yacht with Jimmy Buffett

3. Choke on guacamole

4. Bees

5. Get caught in the crossfire of a narwhal fight

6. Hangglide into a poison factory whilst on fire

7. Axe to the groin or anything to the groin but mainly an axe

8. At the unforgiving hands of Nick Nolte

9. Sitting next to Grandma Agnes because of the racism

10. In Vermont

by Jason Rouse on November 17, 2014 - 6:35pm.

Pope Francis has been a bit controversial since his papacy began in March of 2013, due to what's perceived as his "more liberal" views and casual, conversational nature. We've discovered an internal memo outlining his schedule, which might provide some additional insight into his papal style.

by Jason Rouse on August 26, 2014 - 9:43am.

It’s summertime in the Northwest and for a lot of folks (not us!) that means barbecuing and smoking a lot of marijuana (which we would never do!). But sometimes you can smoke too much, and then where are you? You’re eating potato salad with your Aunt Marge, desperately trying to keep it together. Well, here are a few activities and scenarios that have been scientifically proven to keep you from wigging out to the max.


Mowing the lawn

Shaving your animal

Composting

More marijuana

Think of your favorite whole number

Prepare for a religious holiday

Pretzels

Kres pillas der alfa moontin

Watch the film Berlin Alexanderplatz

Take off your pants

Even more marijuana

Try listening only with your hands

Make an enemies list

Give to public broadcasting

Switch to cocaine

Make 100 phone calls in 100 minutes

Make a wet snack

Take a shower while eating peanut butter and pleasuring yourself

by Jason Rouse on August 21, 2014 - 10:44am.

Season: Spring 2014
Sketches: Various
Writer: Jason Rouse
Reason for rejection: Dumbness

Paco Relation
Dirk Plode
Van Island
Don Conman
Wordsworth Tanaka
Ash Quartz
Kelly Derper
Blanche Mooch
Sheridan Penis
Pueblo Taco
Diego Snickers
BooBoo Sillyface
Beverly Frontbutt
Tiger Bridgecock
Felicity Mumblesocks
Cora Ankleface
Fantasia Loosecheese
Clive Waterbag
Sylvia Nippleton
Trish Lakefeet
Blunt Christopher
P. Diddy
Nutmeg
 

by Jason Rouse on July 17, 2014 - 4:05pm.

Podcasts are so ubiquitous that it seems everyone you meet has one. Because of this trend, we gave Todd Glass (host of the The Todd Glass Show podcast) a truncated version of the following quiz, asking him to indicate which of the podcasts listed were real (a PODCAST) or fake (a SHMODCAST). Take the quiz yourself, and check the answers below see how you do! (Then listen to Todd take the quiz...did you do better or worse than an actual podcast professional?)

1. THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS, DOGS AND LAWN CHEMICALS
Exploring the potentially hazardous health effects of lawn chemicals on your companion animals.

2. THE WAITING ROOM
Detroit standup comics Dean Travers and Shelly McMahon try to get regular people chatting while waiting for appointments in doctor’s offices, lawyer’s offices and principles offices.

3. WHAT WAS WAS NOT WAS
Music super producer and “Was Not Was” musician Don Was’ monthly all access pass to all things that were once Was but are no longer.

4. SWINECAST
Regular Updates and entertainment on and about the pork industry from your most-trusted pork professionals.

5. THE YARNIACS! 
Gayle and Sharlene talk about what they're wearing, stalking and knitting while keeping a pair of needles ready for that ever-elusive perfect yarn.

6. THAT’S NACHO CHEESE!
Blake Ormond chronicles his mission to eat nachos once a day for a year. Each week features a different bean, meat, and cheese. This week is the Bolivian Pinto, llama meat and Aged Norwegian Manchego.

7. THE CATHOLIC PILOT
Podcasting about aviation on a wing and a prayer with Captain Jeff. Near misses, turbulence and living our faith at home and the workplace.

8. WHAT IF?
This weekly podcast explores what the world would look like if Maximilien Robespierre didn’t lead an opposition to the French war with Austria in February 1792, but instead supported the efforts of Jacques Pierre Brissot, the leader of the Girondist party.

9. PODCAST ON PODCAST ON PODCAST
Ever wonder what happens during your favorite behind-the-scenes podcast, “Podcast on Podcast?” Podcaster Dave Johnson examines his process of going behind-the-scenes for his behind-the-scenes podcast about your favorite podcasts.

10. FURCAST
A podcast about sexual anthropomorphism, furries, spirituality and internet culture.

Answers:
1. Podcast
2. Shmodcast
3. Shmodcast
4. Podcast
5. Podcast
6. Shmodcast
7. Podcast
8. Shmodcast
9. Shmodcast
10. Podcast

by Jason Rouse on June 24, 2014 - 1:20pm.

The following is a conversation I had via text with a friend. It is just after midnight:

Me: Hey, sorry I didn't get back to you earlier. I'm exhausted. Long day.

Her: It's ok. I'm actually shaking I'm so hungry and tired.

Me: You should eat a banana and drink some water, immediately. What did you do today?

Her: I auditioned 300 people, I named, numbered and uploaded 600 photos to a server, I prepped two different episodes, conducted a live news interview and prepped an example casting session for a new agent.

PAUSE

Me: I watched Youtube for a while, took a four hour nap and ate two dinners.

PAUSE

Her: Yeah, well I win.

Me: There were TWO DINNERS. One had a salad and a dessert.

PAUSE

Her: We're not friends anymore.

by Jason Rouse on June 22, 2012 - 6:05pm.

Lady Gaga's sister, Lady Googoo

Richie Sambora

Fatty Arbuckle (If he was still alive)

Jose Canseco

Tommy Lee Jones

Irish People

Phil Spector

John Leguizamo

Your Mom

Louis Farrakhan

The Pope (of Greenwich Village)

by Jason Rouse on June 14, 2012 - 3:49pm.